DEAR DEIDRE: I just started an affair with my lady boss and I’m afraid my husband will find out.
I am a 27 year old woman, my husband is 34.
We have been married for almost two years. He owns a security company.
He suggested that I start working with him a year ago, but insisted that I work in each department to get a good understanding of the company first.
My first posting was on the new business team and I was attracted to my boss from day one.
I love my husband, but there was always something missing in our relationship.
Looking back, I felt pressured to get married too early and was not given the chance to explore my sexuality.
My boss is 32, single and beautiful.
We started staying late at the office a few months ago and both started flirting.
The attraction between us was intense and for the first time I understood what people mean when they say someone gives them butterflies.
We often grabbed some food and a beer after we were done and ended up having sex a few times in the office.
I feel terrible for betraying my husband, but I fell head over heels for this woman.
She wants us to spend more time together outside of work, but I feel like that’s hindering our happiness.
I want to slow down so I can figure out what the hell I’m going to do.
I’m afraid she’ll get tired of being my secret and end it.
After that I couldn’t bear to work with her.
I would have to resign which would lead to questions from my husband.
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Every problem gets a personal answer, usually within 24 hours on working days.
He’s already suspicious.
I think he noticed a change in me, but the real reason why he would never guess.
DEIDRE SAYS: If it’s good for you to be with another woman, you can’t stay happily married to your husband.
Exciting sex with a new lover is intoxicating stuff, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’d be happy together.
And it’s not fair to carry on behind your man’s back — especially if you’re all working together.
Choosing to be with this woman will destroy your marriage and can affect both of your careers as well.
Loving two people usually means that something is missing in one relationship.
You admit that something is missing in your marriage. Maybe you should try to put some passion into it.
Talk to your boss and tell both of you to end this affair to focus on your marriage.
If you can’t get it to work, at least you tried.
My support pack 50 ways to add pleasure to sex will help.